Sunday, July 14, 2013

Three Stooges Strategy

There's an old episode of The Simpsons where Montgomery Burns is getting a checkup and Doctor Hibbert comes up with a new syndrome to explain how he is still alive;

 
DOCTOR HIBBERT
Mr. Burns, I'm afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.
MR. BURNS
You mean I have pneumonia?
DOCTOR HIBBERT
Yes.
MR. BURNS
Juvenile diabetes?
MR. BURNS
Hysterical pregnancy?
DOCTOR HIBBERT
Uh, a little bit, yes. You also have several diseases that have just been discovered - in you.
MR. BURNS
I see. You sure you haven't just made thousands of mistakes?
DOCTOR HIBBERT
Uh, no, no, I'm afraid not.
MR. BURNS
This sounds like bad news.
DOCTOR HIBBERT
Well, you'd think so, but all of your diseases are in perfect balance. Uh, if you have a moment, I can explain.
MR. BURNS
Well... [looks at his watch]
DOCTOR HIBBERT
Here's the door to your body, see? [bring up some small fuzz balls with goofy faces and limbs from under the desk] And these are oversized novelty germs. [points to a different one up as he names each disease] That's influenza, that's bronchitis, [holds up one] and this cute little cuddle-bug is pancreatic cancer. Here's what happens when they all try to get through the door at once. [tries to cram a bunch through the model door. The "germs" get stuck] [Stooge-like] Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo. Move it, chowderhead. [normal voice] We call it, "Three Stooges Syndrome".
MR. BURNS
So what you're saying is, I'm indestructible.
DOCTOR HIBBERT
Oh, no, no, in fact, even slight breeze could...
MR. BURNS
Indestructible.


 According to the Urban Dictionary, the Three Stooges Syndrome is:

 When a person has so many illnesses and diseases trying to kill them, that they cancel each other out - much like when all three of the Three Stooges are attempting to get through a doorway at the same time and get stuck as a result. Coined on 'The Simpsons' in reference to Mr Burns' health. Mr. Burns interpreted this condition as indestructibility.

I really think that the folks in DC are using that as a strategy.  So many outrages, so many violations of citizens' rights, so many scandles, so much law breaking that nobody can focus on any one of them and get to the bottom of it.   There's always a new one to distract from the others.






 
 
 

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